She Shall Have Music (Psychic Seasons Read online

  Reid lifted a hand, reached toward her then let it drop to his side with a sigh. Her expression was set, unreadable. With no idea what to say, he waited for her to speak first; she waited for him to do the same.

  Moments passed. The silence became increasingly uncomfortable until he felt compelled to say the words that kept leaping into his head.

  “I’m sorry.” The words fell into the silence like a rock into water. They were so little but heartfelt and the best he had to offer.

  Amethyst tried to see his aura, but could not access her ability. She was too churned up. Absently, she said, “Thank you.”

  Anger shot through him at her apparent indifference; he didn’t see her concentrated effort to hold it together, all he saw was cold detachment.

  “That’s it? Just thank you—no apology for walking out on me without a word?”

  To hide their trembling, she slid her hands into the pockets of her jeans. Holding on to her dignity was the only thing she could think to do in that moment of knowing how deeply they had hurt each other.

  Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to remain aloof.

  Time—she just needed time to process the rush of emotions she was feeling. Time and maybe a new spine. Hers felt like old, wilted celery. Celery? Really? Was her brain broken? It must be because she couldn’t seem to focus on what to do or say next. Her instincts were at war.

  Half of her wanted to run. Away. Fast. To crouch in the corner and protect herself from being hurt again. The other half wanted to run straight to him, leap into his arms and burrow into the safety she used to find there. Caught somewhere in the middle, she was paralyzed.

  When she still didn’t answer, he huffed out a breath. He could not believe this. Years apart and she had nothing to say for herself. He wasn’t denying his own role in the catastrophe that had been their marriage but he was beginning to wonder if she had left because she had just stopped caring.

  That he could still feel despair was a surprise.

  Barely calm enough to speak, Amethyst said, “I’m sorry. I…” and rushed out of the room leaving Reid staring after her.

  _,.-'~'-.,_

  Nearly blinded by tears, Amethyst made her way to the kitchen. Her friends would be there, she knew, probably with a soothing cup of herbal tea. It wasn’t that they were predictable; it was that they would know what she needed. And right now, she needed them—their often brutal honesty, their nurturing, their femaleness but, most of all, their understanding.

  They didn’t disappoint. Gustavia gave her a warm hug, Julie handed her a mug of tea and Kat lent a strong hand to hold as she sobbed out the explanation they had already worked out for themselves.

  “Reid is my ex-husband.”

  “Duh. Figured that much out already. So what happened? Did he track you down here? Did he apologize? Do I need to go show him the business end of a hissy fit?” Gustavia asked, while still keeping a protective arm around her friend. “He didn’t look too mean, I’m pretty sure I could take him.”

  Considering she looked like a piece of candy corn from the gypsy skirt to the fuzzy sweater, a full dozen strings of beads and bells hanging around her neck, the picture of Gustavia unleashing a bit of Krav Maga on Reid was enough to bring a wobbly smile to Amethyst’s face. Gustavia would do it, too. Anything to protect a friend.

  “Stand down, killer.” The dry tone sounded more like Amethyst’s normal voice as she regained some semblance of control over her rioting thoughts. “I think I’m safe enough. He’s not a villain. I think I might be, though.”

  “I’m sorry, Amethyst. Tyler invited him. He said Reid was an old friend,” Julie explained. “I’m sure he had no idea you would be here.” Anything else Tyler had told her would have to remain in confidence for the time being.

  “Interesting coincidence.” Kat speculated.

  “Coincidence,” Gustavia snorted. She was a firm believer in destiny and believed coincidence was little more than a fairytale. “This was meant to be.”

  “It’s a bit much for me right now. I can’t contemplate matters of fate when I’m feeling completely freaked out.” Kat gave the hand she was still holding a reassuring squeeze. She didn’t need to use her psychic abilities to see Amethyst’s life was about to become a lot more complicated.

  “It was so unexpected, seeing him here. It’s not like I’ve been on the run or in hiding from an abusive relationship and I don’t even really blame him for what happened. He was under a lot of pressure. We were young and both of us handled things badly.” She sighed and ran a purple-tipped hand through her hair. “Seems to be a trend in our relationship. I wasn’t my best today, either. I froze and then I ran. Again.”

  “I don’t think running will be an option after today.”

  “How long did you say he was staying?”

  “A week. Tyler thinks something big happened because Reid took time off from work.” Julie drummed her fingers on the table knowing she faced a dilemma. Tyler was the man she loved, Amethyst was family, and she really didn’t want to end up stuck in the middle between them. “Do you want me to ask him to leave?”

  “No, of course not.” And to her surprise, she really meant it. Seeing him again might bring some closure. Sure, it would be painful but it was time to move on. As long as she had her circle of friends, she could face anything.

  Looking at her intently, Gustavia narrowed her eyes. “Your aura just settled back into its normal patterns. I was beginning to think I was going to have to step in and help you heal it.”

  “Oh, I never thought of that,” Kat mused, “who would we send Amethyst to if she needed help with her aura?”

  “I believe I could help.” Estelle appeared out of thin air.

  “Grams, we talked about this.” Julie slanted the ghost a look that plainly said she was annoyed. “Reid doesn’t know about you and until there has been enough time to gauge his level of open-mindedness, you can’t be popping in unannounced.”

  “I didn’t forget. I peeked first and I promise I will only stay a minute. I just wanted to say that I am here if you need me Amethyst. Call on me anytime,” and with a final look of sympathy, she faded away.

  Kat broke the silence that followed, “Jane?” Her voice carried a tinge of amusement.

  Rolling her eyes, Amethyst had hoped no one had caught that part, but now she admitted, “Yeah. You can probably guess what my nickname was, Plain Jane. Boring mouse brown hair, braces, and glasses. I was a nobody, a geek, until my second year of high school. The braces came off; I got contacts, cut my hair, and started experimenting with new colors. I looked better but everyone still called me plain. Except for Reid. He wasn’t one of the mean ones.”

  Her friends responded with murmurs of understanding.

  “Then, at the beginning of senior year, a former friend outed me for seeing auras and I became Jane Strange. Reid never called me that either, he just accepted that I was different. We talked about everything. Books and movies and life and my auras. We got closer and closer but it took six months before he kissed me and from that moment on, we were inseparable. His parents opposed the marriage so we eloped practically the minute I turned eighteen.”

  “That must have gone over well.” Gustavia stated the obvious.

  “Lionel, Reid’s father, nearly had a heart attack when we told him. His mother was nice, though. I think she just wanted Reid to be happy.”

  Memories flooded back bringing with them a sense of loss. Seeing Reid again stirred up all the old feelings. The pain was no longer pushed firmly behind her and neither was the flare of hope. What if this really was fate—thank you Gustavia for bringing that up—and what if this was their second chance?

  Thinking along those lines right now was more than she could handle until she had had time to process the whole situation so Amethyst asked if they could just get back to wedding planning. What she needed right now was the distraction.

  Chapter Two

  Tyler gave Reid a few minutes then stepped back into
the room to find the man still standing in the same place with a thunderstruck expression on his face.

  “Huh. I think that went well, don’t you?” Reid asked Tyler, his tone was wry but his eyes were glazed, haunted.

  “Oh, man. I’m sorry. I had no idea our Amethyst was your Jane. If I’d known, I would have at least warned you. But you’ve been divorced for what—three years now? So, maybe it’s time to move on. Seeing her now might be the best thing for that.”

  Reid gave a choked laugh. “Sure, that sounds entirely reasonable but here’s the thing—we’re not exactly divorced. I never signed the papers.”

  Eyes wide, Tyler asked, “Does she know that?” He was thinking this was going to complicate everything and Gustavia might get her chance at that hissy fit after all.

  “Why? Is she dating someone? Is it serious?” God, he hoped not. Now that he had seen her again, jealousy burned inside him at the mere thought of her being in a serious relationship.

  “No—not that I’m aware.”

  “Good.” Relieved on several levels, Reid knew he needed to talk to Jane—Amethyst—about the state of their union.

  Tyler asked, “What are you planning to do now?”

  Reid walked over and slumped down on one of the overstuffed chairs, dropped his head into his hands and said, “No idea. She’s changed so much. I’ve had this picture in my head of the way she looked the last time I saw her. Blond, wearing slacks and a sweater; she looked like every other corporate wife.”

  Tyler tried to wrap his head around that one but just couldn’t. Even when she had donned a business suit and wig to go on an undercover mission with Gustavia, she hadn’t looked like a corporate wife. He frowned but the image just would not come. “I’m trying to picture it but I can’t. Was it her idea?”

  “No. It was mine,” Reid admitted. “My stupid idea. I pushed her into dressing that way; I even picked out the color of the hair dye. I was so wrapped up in the idea of fitting in so I could get ahead at the company; I didn’t see what I was doing to her. The worst of it is that I never even wanted that job. I knew my father was grooming me to take over for him one day and I let him. He got in my head and then I got in hers. By the time she left, we’d both become someone else. We turned into people we were never meant to be. She just realized it sooner and had the courage to do something about it.”

  “Sounds like you’ve forgiven her.” Tyler chose not to add that it sounded to him as though under all the regret, Reid was still carrying a torch for her.

  “We were young. Sounds ludicrous considering it has only been what—three years? I’ve changed a lot during that time. Enough to finally work up the guts to hand in my resignation. As of yesterday, I’m officially unemployed.”

  That comment shot Tyler’s eyebrows up in surprise.

  “Got any plans for what to do next?”

  “None—at all.” Reid stood up with determination, pushed the chair back, and held a hand out to Tyler. “I’ll just go up and get my stuff. Maybe when the dust settles we can grab a beer sometime.”

  “Chicken.” Tyler’s tone was mild, teasing but there was no doubt he had issued a challenge.

  “Chicken? Man, that’s cold. I figured since this is Julie’s place she would want me to clear out. I’m not running away if that’s what you’re thinking.”

  “Funny, I didn’t hear anyone ask you to leave.”

  “I just assumed…”

  “Well, don’t. I’ve been around these women for a few months now.” Looking back, he marveled that so much had changed in just half a year. Tyler continued, “And I can tell you it doesn’t pay to underestimate any one of them. Julie won’t ask you to leave, but what she will do—what they all will do—is give you and Jane—Amethyst—the space and support you both need to work through…well...whatever it is you need to work through.”

  More than anything, Reid realized, he wanted to stay.

  He needed to stay. He needed to talk to his wife. Going back into that room full of women was just about the last thing he wanted to do; he prepared himself for recriminating stares.

  _,.-'~'-.,_

  Reid followed Tyler into the kitchen. His defenses were up but instead of a pack of hostile women shooting daggers at him, he found them drinking tea and chatting animatedly over several lists spread out on the table.

  Apparently, he had overestimated his importance and his impact on Jane. No—he had to remember—her name was Amethyst. He had expected to see her in tears, maybe huddled in misery while her friends patted her on the shoulder and said, “There, there.” Instead, he received nothing more than a brief glance as he walked in before she turned back to her friends as if nothing unusual had happened.

  Debating whether to quietly withdraw or stay and confront her, he wondered if this was how a deer felt when the headlights fell on it; knowing the urgency to run but not whether to jump left or right.

  If it was petty to admit he felt at least some satisfaction from seeing the redness still lingering around her eyes from crying, then he’d own it; especially considering how quickly she’d seemed to recover from their encounter while he still felt stunned.

  From where he was standing, he couldn’t see how badly her hands were shaking; couldn’t tell her back was stiff and aching from tension.

  An awkward silence settled over the group; one that no one felt duty bound to break. Finally, after a minute that felt like two lifetimes, the two men retreated again to the living room.

  “Was it just me or was that awkward?” Sarcasm dripped from Reid’s tongue.

  “Could have been worse. Gustavia knows Krav Maga and she’s very protective.” Tyler maintained his attitude of nonchalance when Reid turned a skeptical eye on him. “I’m not kidding.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “You’re staying, then?”

  “Seems like the right thing to do. I need to come clean with Jane and now is as good a time as any.”

  “Maybe give her a day or two to settle first. Let her get used to the idea of being around you again. Then you open that particular can of worms. Not while Gustavia’s around, though. She’s liable to open a can of something else.”

  “I gotta ask, man. How did she get that name? Gustavia, I mean. It’s a little different.”

  “Oh, she made it up for exactly that reason. You ask her sometime, her story might surprise you.”

  _,.-'~'-.,_

  Life settled back into as normal a pattern as it could when a person’s foundations had been rocked. Over the next few days, Amethyst saw clients, worked on a few projects of her own, and spent plenty of time helping with the wedding plans.

  Each time she walked into Julie’s house, she discreetly searched for Reid. Just to know where he was, not to check out how he looked or to see if he was checking her out, too. That would have been ridiculous. So, she absolutely never did that. Much.

  She had not been surprised when his weeklong stay extended into two.

  If it was hard to keep her attention on guest lists and invitations when her heart was racing because he had entered the room, she chalked it up to nerves and not any sort of attraction. What they had once had was over now even if she knew a conversation with him about it was inevitable. Maybe then, the past would finally be put to rest.

  He would be leaving soon. They would say goodbye this time and that would be the end of it. Wishing things were different wasn’t rational. The intense desire to run into his arms—that would go away once he was gone. Thinking about him at all hours of the night—that would go away, too. It had to. Out of sight, out of mind.

  “Earth to Amethyst.” Gustavia poked her in the shoulder.

  “Hey. Cut that out. I was just thinking about…”

  Gustavia cut her off, “A certain someone who is not here right now? He’s out in the gazebo with Tyler. They found an old power connection beneath one of the seats and wanted to check the wiring to see if it worked and if it could be updated. Finn said it needed to have the proper g
rounds or something.”

  “I wasn’t thinking about him,” Her defensive tone fooled no one but they could see she needed to keep up the pretense so all three women tried to wipe the smirks off their faces.

  “Okay, then where do you stand on the big napkin debate?”

  Amethyst’s blank look brought another round of knowing smiles.

  “Cloth or paper with a picture of Julie and Tyler on them?”

  “I don’t know—what does Julie want?” She turned to Julie. “What do you want?”

  “Cloth for the dinner, paper for the cake, but not with our picture. Just our names and the date.”

  “Well that’s settled and with no need for debate.” Kat said. “Now for the music, this is short notice for finding a band not already booked for the holidays, but I might have a solution. My cousin, the harpist, also plays in a string quartet. They’re all in high school but they’re very talented and I know they’d love the chance to play for you.”

  “That could work during the dinner and then I think Tyler has a line on a deejay for dancing. Could they come and do an audition?”

  Kat grinned and reached back for the handbag she had hung on the back of the chair. She pulled out a CD and held it toward Julie. “They heard me telling mom about the wedding and put together a demo. It’s not professionally recorded or anything but they were so excited they made me promise to ask if you could at least listen to it.” Wedding planning was a visual task, which minimized her contribution but her friends always included her in everything so she was happy to have something to offer.

  “I’ll give it a listen and let you know.” Julie accepted the disk and laid it aside before pulling out a book of invitation samples. “Kat’s uncle does exquisite work and he says he can do the napkins to match.”

  Amethyst pulled the book over and began looking through the pages. “These are gorgeous and it’s so much nicer to be able to see them in person rather than on a computer screen. I love this textured card stock, it has such a nice feel to it.” She brushed a fingertip over the paper.